IT TAKES A BIG MAN TO SOUND SO SMALL

Delightful character voice actor Walter Tetley was born in New York in 1915. He provided juvenile voices in several classic radio shows, and he’s probably best known to the TV generation as the voice of Sherman, the pet boy of the genius dog Mr. Peabody, in the “Peabody’s Improbable History” back segment of “The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show”. Other roles included Leroy, the nephew of radio's Great Gildersleeve, and the Walter Lantz toon Andy Panda.

Walter Tetley was unofficially tagged “the world’s tallest midget”, because of his childlike voice, but he wasn’t a little person at all. Tetley was an averaged-sized man with a child-like voice, for reasons that remain mysterious. Officially, he had a hormonal disorder, but there was an urban legend (unproven), that his mother, unwilling to part with the paycheck of a child actor, had Walter “fixed” (castrated), so that he remained in a state of arrested development, permanently pre-pubescent, and destined to sound like a boy forever. Perhaps the truth will never be known.

Walter Tetley died in 1975, at the age of 60.

THE SHARP KNIFE OF A SHORT LIFE

Soul singer Tammi Terrell was born Thomasina Montgomery in 1945 in Philadelphia. She began her musical career at 13, and eventually changed her professional name to “Tammi”, inspired by the hit movie Tammy and the Bachelor. She signed with Motown Records in 1965. Tammi was a pop star in the classic sense of the term: though she did not possess a particularly strong singing voice, she was beautiful, vivacious, and had star quality, and became a Motown darling in short order.

Tammi is best remembered for her duet recordings with fellow Motown artist Marvin Gaye, with hits including “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough”, “Your Precious Love” and “Ain’t Nothin’ Like The Real Thing”. Her personal life was a little less idyllic: she was romantically linked to both James Brown and Temptations singer David Ruffin; both relationships were rumored to be abusive.

During an onstage performance with Marvin Gaye in 1967, she collapsed in his arms; she was later diagnosed with a brain tumor. Several surgeries were unsuccessful at alleviating her condition. Tammi Terrell passed away in March, 1970, in Philadelphia, at the age of 24.

GOOD, BAD AND UGLY, AND WE MEAN THAT IN THE BEST WAY

The piercing eyes. The big mustache. The even BIGGER gun. These images come to mind when you think of actor Lee Van Cleef.

Clarence Leroy Van Cleef Jr. was born in 1925 in New Jersey, of parents of Dutch ancestry. While performing in a touring theater company’s production of “Mr. Roberts”, Van Cleef was discovered by Stanley Kramer, who cast him in High Noon, and Van Cleef was officially on the map. He is perhaps best remembered as a badass in spaghetti westerns such as For a Few Dollars More, and The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

Van Cleef also overcame three accidents—two by fate, one by birth—that most people would probably never notice unless they were pointed out. He lost a kneecap in a car accident, but recovered sufficiently to ride a horse again; another accident took the last joint of his middle finger; and colored contact lenses disguised the fact that he was born with one blue eye and one green eye.

Lee Van Cleef died in 1989, at the age of 64.

SOME THINGS I’D LIKE TO SEE GO AWAY SOON

We all suffer from occasional iconic overload. Here are some things I've had more than enough of.




Ikea. Besides the cheap, spindly furniture, they gave their employees bikes, instead of money, as holiday bonuses. Nothing against bikes, but that’s what your parents and Santa are for. To add insult to injury: the bikes required assembly.

“Jersey” anything, and The “Real” Housewives of anywhere. Seriously, do you actually know anyone like that? Oh, and a fake orange tan after Labor Day? Fail.

S#*! My Dad Says. The Twitter page was hilarious for about 20 minutes. When will people learn: Hollywood ruins everything.





Those little white decals, of a nuclear family or some spinoff of Calvin & Hobbes, on the back windshield of cars and vans. It’s not cute if everyone’s doing it. Honorable mention: “Baby On Board” signs. They make people want to intentionally rear-end you, just to knock some reality into your brat in the back seat.

Radio Personalities. Besides the two words being mutually exclusive, aren’t we just over that as a form of entertainment? Isn’t it time for that to just retire, like movie theater Newsreels and carnival barkers?

 “Lazy-Folks” gadgets and products. Admit it, some of you actually bought Snuggies. You know who you are.

Auto-Tune, and every recording artist who relies on it. Getting rid of that alone will thin the herd considerably.





The Palins. All of them. Except Michael from Monty Python.

Constantly being asked to care about water on Mars, the reproductive habits of celebrities, or what Oprah thinks you should be reading. If you honestly believe Oprah has time to sit down and read entire books, please send me a color postcard of your home planet.



 

Lady Gaga.






“American Idol”, “America’s Got Talent”, or any other American no-talent show that promotes glorified Karaoke, with people whose musical “training” has entailed standing in front of a bedroom mirror, singing into a hairbrush.

The recent mushroom-like proliferation of Classic Rock radio stations in major Metro areas. Classic Rock Station? Fine. Five or six of them within a 3-county area? C’mon… how much ZZ Top are you nostalgic for?





People getting famous for having multiple-birth families. It never ends well. Did we learn nothing from the Dionnes?





What did I leave out? Feel free to add to this list. (pleeze keep it G-Rated tho.)  :)

EW, GIRL COOTIES!

I drew this portrait of an adolescent Bambi and Faline, in the process of becoming quite "twitterpated". I noticed the original movie still on the back of an old record. It's water based marker and wax pencil. I don't illustrate nearly as much is I should, but I have to draw Bambi at least once every few years. He's like an old childhood friend.

Within the cocoon of cultural oppression beat the wings of artistic freedom.

Thelma “Butterfly” McQueen was born in Florida in 1911, and worked on the stage until her Hollywood debut in the late 1930s. She gained the moniker “Butterfly”, because she was fidgety; always fluttering with her hands. The film role for which she’s best remembered is “Prissy”, Scarlett O’Hara’s panicky maid in the 1939 classic Gone With The Wind.

Other notable roles included parts in The Women, Flame of Barbary Coast, Mildred Pierce, and the radio show “Beulah”. Unfortunately she never really overcame that stereotype relegated to playing maids and servants, but she was highly admired as a character actress, and provided some much needed diversity and comedy relief to what could otherwise have been some pretty one-dimensional films. In her personal life she was quite the scholar; she earned a Bachelor’s degree in Political Science from New York City College.

True to the famous quote by her character in GWTW, McQueen indeed knew “nuthin’ ‘bout birthin’ babies”. She never married nor had any children.

Butterfly McQueen flew away for good in December 1995, at the age of 84.

“I never met a man I didn’t like.” Many people have made similar statements, but when Will Rogers said it, we believed him.

William Penn Adair Rogers was born in 1879 in Oologah Indian Territory (now Oklahoma), and was both a cowboy and an Indian; part Cherokee on both sides of his family. As for the cowboy side, Rogers was a champion with a lasso, and even set some performance records. He started his modern entertainment career in vaudeville, and progressed to a few movies and wrote editorials for the New York Times. He was best known for his observational wit, and became the voice of the Everyman, with an iron hand of political and corporate commentary, cloaked in the velvet glove of his unique brand of homespun humor. “We only get to vote on some man;” he quipped, “We never get to vote on what he is to do.” The most significant thing about Rogers’ many quotes (and those tenuously attributed to him) is not just what was said, but that they’re more poignant today than ever.

America lost its most constructive critic in a plane crash near Point Barrow, close to Alaska, in 1935. Will Rogers was 55.

LARGER THAN LIFE

Towering (6'7") actor James King Arness was born in Minnesota in 1923, and as an adult he became a radio announcer, and eventually made his way to Hollywood. Arness first gained notoriety in Sci-Fi films like The “Thing From Another World”, and “Them”.

In 1955, CBS-TV planned a new television show, based on the popular Western radio program Gunsmoke. The lead role, of U.S. Marshal Matt Dillon, was portrayed on radio by the incomparable voice actor William Conrad, but CBS wasn’t interested in casting the stocky, balding Conrad in the TV role. Actor John Wayne was approached, but he didn’t want the role, and suggested his friend Arness. The statuesque, rugged Arness was perfect, and for the next 20 years, personified the ultimate Western lawman. Gunsmoke became one of the longest running TV shows in history, and Arness then went on to portray more law officials in other shows, forever associated with the long shadow of authority.

James Arness died in 2011, at the age of 88. His younger brother was actor Peter Graves.

YOURS, MINE AND OURS

She has been known as “The Queen of Comedy,” and “The First Lady of Television,” but we all know her as simply Lucy.

Lucille Desiree Ball was born in Jamestown, New York in 1911, and was a “Goldwyn Girl” in Hollywood in the early 1930s. For the rest of the decade, Lucy honed her comedic skills, and in 1940, she began the most memorable and powerful partnership in television history, when she married Cuban bandleader Desiderio Arnaz. Lucy and Desi remained married for 20 years, and in that time built a TV empire, producing and starring in the hit TV sitcom “I Love Lucy”, based on a comedy radio program Lucy had starred in, called “My Favorite Husband”. Eventually, Lucy became the first woman to own her own film studio, along with Desi, called “Desilu”. The venture (later sold to Paramount) made Lucy and Desi multi-millionaires.

If you believe urban legends, Lucy also helped with the war effort, albeit inadvertently. It was rumored (though never proven) that she aided the authorities during WWII, when she reported picking up Morse-coded Japanese radio signals via the metal fillings in her teeth.

Lucille Ball passed away in 1989, at the age of 77.

A KIND OF IMMORTALITY

If there is a literal poster child of the brightly-lit illusion of show biz, it has to be young Peg Entwistle.

She was born in Wales in 1908, to British parents, and her family came to America in 1912. By the 1920s, Peg had a stage career, but film was her major ambition. Unfortunately, movie stardom eluded her: she landed a bit part in a 1932 film called “Thirteen Women”. And that was all.

Eventually the resulting despondency and depression got the better of Peg, and on a late summer evening in 1932, Peg ventured out alone to a point on Mount Lee, above Santa Monica, to the 50-foot “Hollywood” sign (it read “Hollywoodland” back then). She found a workman’s ladder, and climbed to the top of the “H”, and leaped to her death. Later, a suicide note found in her purse read: "I'm afraid I'm a coward. I am sorry for everything. If I had done this thing a long time ago it would have saved a lot of pain. P.E." Peg was 24 years old. Unbeknownst to Peg, at the time of her death, a letter had been delivered to her home, offering her another bit part in a film: the part of a woman who commits suicide at the end of the third reel.

Peg’s story did not end with her untimely death, however. Her memory lingered with the superstitious Hollywood community, and does to this day. It’s even said that people light candles for her in local churches; she is considered the patron saint of Hollywood starlets – and unrealized potential… a spirit of what was, and what could have been.

Montgomery Clift and John Rhys-Meyers

Seriously. No one else noticed the resemblance? It was just me? Really?

UNSUNG HEROES

"Bass players call from all over, wanting to know what type of equipment I use, what type of bass, what kind of strings-- things like that. I'll tell them, but that's not what's important; it's the feel. The strings don't make the sound, it's the feel. It's all in here, in the heart."
- James Jamerson, 1979

Most of the classic 1960s and early 1970s R&B and pop hits you remember very likely feature James Jamerson on bass. He was among the uncredited studio musicians Motown referred to as the “Funk Brothers”. A partial studio list included The Supremes, The Four Tops, The Temptations, The Jackson Five, Little Stevie Wonder, and the list goes on and on. In the 1970s Jamerson played bass on Marvin Gaye's iconic “What’s Goin’ On” album, and many more. He used primarily a Fender Precision bass, and very heavy-gauged strings. He had a melodic method which almost formed a “duet” with the vocal track; and almost never changed his bass strings. He felt the resulting neck-warping warmed the tone of his basses.

A long and permanent victim of alcoholism, James Jamerson died in 1983 at the age of 47. He has since been posthumously inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and the Fender Hall of Fame.

LOW KEYS, HIGH PROFILE

Jaco had plenty of issues, but no frets.

John Francis Anthony Pastorius, later known as “Jaco”, was born in Pennsylvania, and went on to become one of the most revered and influential bassists in history. He started out as a drummer and eventually began playing electric bass in his early teens. He played with such acts as Cochran and the C.C. Riders, Ira Sullivan, Pat Metheney, Herbie Hancock and countless others. He is probably best remembered for his work with the group Weather Report.

He came to be known for his use of harmonics, playing (mostly) a ’60 Fender Jazz bass and a ’62 fretless bass; legend had it that Jaco took the frets off manually. He played in a high register, plucking as opposed to the “slap” method of many bassists of the 1970s and 80s. Most music lovers and critics alike were in awe of his unique way of playing.

Jaco played hard, and he lived hard. His skill and talent were matched only by his outsized ego, and he suffered from severe alcoholism and bipolar disorder. Fortunately, his talent actually backed up his boasting, and usually smoothed over any off-putting first impressions he made with people. As it's been said, “it ain’t braggin' if you can back it up”.

Jaco Pastorius died in 1987 at the age of 35.

AND YOU MAY SAY TO YOURSELF, "THIS IS NOT MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE!"

Elsa Sullivan Lanchester was born in Lewisham, in London, in 1902. In her early childhood, Elsa studied dance under Isadora Duncan, and later performed in music halls, singing off-color little ditties like “Please Sell No More Drink to My Father”, and “If You Peek in My Gazebo”.

As an actress, she worked with titans such as Alfred Hitchcock, and appeared in a few films with her husband, actor Charles Laughton. She is best remembered for her titular role in the 1935 film The Bride of Frankenstein. Although her total screen time was only about nine minutes, it remains one of the most iconic horror roles in history.

Elsa and Laughton never had children, which in itself is not unusual, except for the theories as to why. The most popular rumors were 1: Laughton was actually gay; 2: She became infertile after a couple of abortions; and 3: Laughton hated children. Whatever the case, it’s too bad such gifted genes were not passed on.

Elsa Lanchester died in 1986, at the age of 84.

IF YOU EVER ESCAPE, BE A GOOD FELLOW AND TAKE ME WITH YOU

A brilliant career that went out of focus.

Bob Crane was born in Connecticut in 1928, and was a musician and DJ before becoming an actor. He co-starred in several TV shows, and in 1965, he starred in the hit sitcom “Hogan’s Heroes”, which ran until 1970. For the next several years, Crane jockeyed between more TV and Disney movie roles; unfortunately, his personal life took a very dark turn.

Crane developed a habit of picking up women, and filming his hotel-room escapades with them. In June 1978, he was found murdered in a hotel room in Scottsdale. The initial suspect in the crime was an estranged friend, a fellow sex-tape enthusiast named John Carpenter. Carpenter was eventually acquitted, due to lack of conclusive evidence (DNA testing was not available then). Crane’s murder remains one of the most baffling unsolved Hollywood mysteries.

At the time of his death, Bob Crane was only 49.

OH KNICKERS! I NEVER WANTED TO BE A NUN ANYWAY!

Irreverent comedian David Allen was born David O’Mahoney in Ireland in 1936. Most Americans remember him from late night reruns on Public Television during British comedy nights. Allen started out in the late 1950s on BBC’s New Faces and early 1960s warming up for The Beatles. By the mid-1960s he landed his own TV gig, The David Allen Show, and from 1971 to 1979, the iconic David Allen At Large.

Besides his observational humor, mostly about religion (he was a “recovering Catholic”), he is probably best remembered for his relaxed, loungy-styled monologues, seated on a high stool and holding the ubiquitous cigarette and low-ball glass. Allen was a graduate of the Dean Martin School of Let-Them-Think-It’s-Liquor, as his glass was usually filled with either tea or ginger-ale. At the end of each show, Allen delivered his trademark closing line, “Good night, thank you, and may your God go with you.”

David Allen passed away in 2005 at the age of 68.

WE OFFER YOU... ESCAPE

When the greatest talents are on the job, it’s almost like they’re not there at all. Gifted character and voice actors, like the incomparable Paul Frees, are perfect examples: their voices become part of the soundtrack of our lives.

Solomon Hersh Frees was born in 1920 in Chicago. He served in WWII and upon returning to the States enjoyed a 40+ year career as a voice and character actor. Paul began in Disney films and progressed to work with the Walter Lantz, UPA, Hanna-Barbera and Rankin-Bass studios. He was an expert at dialects and accents; he overdubbed Tony Curtis' "Josephine" voice in the movie Some Like It Hot, and his voice is still heard today narrating a couple of Disneyland attractions.

He provided the distinctive opening narration to the radio series “Escape”, and he could be heard in many memorable cartoon roles, such as Bullwinkle and Rocky’s nemesis Boris Badenov, Inspector Fenwick in Dudley Do-Right, the original Cap’n Crunch and Pilsbury Doughboy, the voice of John Lennon in the 1960’s Beatles cartoon show; and of course everyone’s favorite, Burgermeister Meisterburger in “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town”.

Paul Frees died in 1986, at the age of 66.

TABLOID TABOO

Meet Hollywood’s very first Brittany Murphy. Sort of.

Actress Olive Thomas was born in Pennsylvania in 1894. She won a beauty contest in New York City in 1914, and from there, she was Hollywood bound. Olive worked in the Ziegfeld Follies, and became the first of the “flappers” in the burgeoning ‘jazz age’. She also became the sister-in-law of acclaimed silent movie actress Mary Pickford, when she married Mary’s brother Jack Pickford in 1918.

Then tragedy struck. In 1920, while on vacation with her husband in France, Olive was found unconscious in her hotel room, of apparent narcotic poisoning, and she died shortly thereafter. She was only 25. The tragic news hit Hollywood like a ton of bricks: in 1920, Hollywood was still in its infancy, and this was its first major “scandal”. Rumors abounded, varying from suicide, to death after too much partying, to even having been murdered by her husband. Upon closer examination, however, a less glamorous truth was revealed: The authorities involved determined that Olive likely misread a prescription, written in French, in a dimly lit room, and ingested mercury bichloride tablets dissolved in alcohol, by mistake. Her death was officially ruled an accident.

That didn’t stop the backlash back in America, however, and only encouraged pundits, clerics and blowhards from all across the country into expounding the evils of Hollywood, and its threat to the flower of Young American Girlhood. The Olive Thomas incident remained grist for the tabloid mill for an entire year, until she was finally pushed out of the headlines in 1921 by the second Hollywood scandal, involving a comedian named Fatty Arbuckle.

But that’s another story. And besides, surely you already know about that one.

Disclaimers and Caveats

All text postings on this blog are original, written by me. If any portion of text is taken from another source, quotation marks and/or credit will be included. Please respect the postings you see, as I would respect yours, and do not copy or download any of them, whole or in part, without requesting my written permission.

ALL posters are my original design and bear copyright watermarks. However, some images (of famous individuals for example) may be the property of other copyright holders. Please note that all such artworks dispayed are vanity pieces only, and have NOT been reproduced for profit. No plagarism of copyrighted works or intellectual property is intended or condoned.

This is no joke, please take these disclaimers seriously. My thanks.

-Kelly Stanton-Scott

SEE YOU AT THE CROSSROADS

 The blues is the blues, whether it takes the stairway to heaven, or the highway to hell.

Guitarist Robert Johnson was born in 1911 in Mississippi and is considered the most influential blues musician of all time. He made around a dozen albums, and his public image is the stuff of legend and lore. Johnson has long been the subject of an urban legend (that he is rumored to have started himself), that he journeyed to or near the intersection of highways 61 and 49 in Clarksdale, Mississippi, known as the “Crossroads”, and offered his soul to the Devil in exchange for blues musical prowess. His influence on modern-day musicians is so great, that many blues and rock celebrities make regular pilgrimages to his gravesite; he’s practically their patron saint.

Robert Johnson’s early death is also legendary. He died of suspected poisoning; no one is sure exactly how, but the most persistent rumor is that he flirted with a girl whose jealous boyfriend then slipped strychnine in Johnson’s whiskey. Whatever the case, it was 1938, which inducts Robert Johnson into the infamous “27 Club”, along with many other famous musicians who died at the age of 27, including Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, Brian Jones and Kurt Cobain. If you believe everything you read, the Devil’s waiting room has gotta be a bit crowded. But you have to admit they’ve got one helluva house band.

YOU'RE NOT MY TYPE

I saw a poster once that said, “I promise I will never use Comic Sans, Hobo or Papyrus Again”. For those of you who are not designers, those are the names of three extremely over-used type fonts.

I’ve been a graphic designer for nigh on 20 years, and an artist all my life, but I have a confession: I’m still not tired of Papyrus. I agree it’s overused, but only by amateurs who use it for entire paragraphs. I still think the font looks nice if it’s just a few words. Soapbox officially dismounted.

That said, here’s an old designer’s joke: Comic Sans walks into a bar, and the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve your type here”.

THE FACE OF A BABY BOOMER

This is what 48 looks like—at least in my pic (I'm doing a "Mad Men"). There are many things about me that haven’t changed over the years: I still have the fat, chipmunk cheeks, the freakishly large eyes, and stringy hair. A few things have changed: the hair is getting thinner, I have more than one chin, a belly paunch, and so much of my skin’s pigment has receded that sunscreen is a necessity now. But ya know what, it happens to the best of us.

What’s more important now is what you can’t see – what I’ve learned. There’s always folks that are better off, and worse off, than me; I’ll never be the smartest one in the room, nor the dumbest. Don’t get too attached to material things, for you could lose them. A New York minute can change everything.

I have friends who say that every day above ground is a good one. I don’t agree. It is the quality of your days, not the quantity, that matters; any life lived well is long enough. If you can look at yourself in the mirror, and find some reason to smile, then you’re worth something. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but God doesn’t make mistakes. He did it right, my only obligation to Him is a return on investment.